How to cook children, a grisly recipe book ~ Martin Howard and Colin Stimpson

I have to admit, I've never managed to cook any of the recipes within the book and I suspect that is probably a good thing from everyones perspective. That said, any home cook wanting a truly representative collection on their shelves really should take a look at Howard and Stimpson's offering. Although lightweight at only seventeen recipes, each of them provide the cook tempting offerings rarely found in other books.

The recipes are each preceded by a note from the general editor, Esmelia Sniff, detailing interesting points about the recipe's author and the recipe provided. These are quite useful when it comes to selecting a recipe, for instance in introducing Mad Elaine de la Moustache's recipe for Enfant aux Escargots et Grenouilles she notes "Her food's all right if you don't mind disgusting foreign muck". The recipes are all delightfully illustrated with pictures of the the chef or their preparations, though thankfully these are drawn rather than photographed, which might have the tendency to put you off your food. A fairly standard format to each of the recipes, they aren't hard to follow - an introduction by each chef, a list of ingredients followed by the method.

What is trickiest about the recipes isn't the method itself, but sourcing the ingredients. Whether you're thinking about making the Moppet Vindaloo with Paul-oww Rice and Samosas, requiring lots of hot Pippas, a boy called Sam and another called Paul, or the Apple Betty with Eyes-Cream, needing a girl named Betty, some rabbit poo and lots of nits, you are unlikely to have the requisite ingredients to hand. My son had a reprieve recently when I was tempted to make the Leg of Aberdeen Angus with Chloeflower Cheese and Tatties as we didn't have a Tatiana or Chloe to hand, much to his sister's dismay.

To truly get the best out of the recipes in the book, the right ingredients are key. Ugla Snoganov in her recipe for Classic Gingerbread makes clear that the selection of the two young redheads needed is important, noting that "If they're not ginger enough then you'll be left with a load of Auburnbread. Too ginger and you'll get an oven-full of carrot cake". Sage advice from an experienced cook.

In light of the challenges in recreating the recipes in the book, not to mention the lengthy gaol terms if you succeeded, my personal recommendation would be to treat it as inspirational, and then move on to a more mainstream book to find the recipe you are actually going to cook. The Irish Stu with Little Dumplings sounds tempting? I'm certain you'll be able to find an Irish stew and dumpling recipe that will do the trick, and I'm sure a nice paella recipe would do in place of the Pie-Ella.

Recommended for parents and their children wanting a giggle, and perhaps that group from Terminus in season five of The Walking Dead.

- Kath